I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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