my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
