I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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