next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
