Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
