You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
