You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
