Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
