do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
