3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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