If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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