Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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