drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I look better un-naked...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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