You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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