somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
