Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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