First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize