Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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