did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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