I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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