Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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