i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
