birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
