I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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