Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize