You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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