the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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