I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
