bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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