Where did you get a picture of my penis
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
