his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
