that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The air taste purple.
Randomize
