cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
