Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize