i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
