I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
