I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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