I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
