I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize