I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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