Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's shark week go big or go home
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize