U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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