she looked like the before picture.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
