Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
