I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
