Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
