guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't deserve a penis
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
