Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
