Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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