guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're a disaster
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