Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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