she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
