when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
