i can't believe i had my finger in that
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
