I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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