Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
