New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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