can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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