That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
