Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize