just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
