Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
