If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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