My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
