yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
