sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
