I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
