turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
