been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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