Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
