Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
