My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
