Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
