I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
