I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
