allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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